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Domestic violence feels like a very personal problem. By its very nature, it is a "family matter," something to keep private. Yet, the severity and impact of domestic violence on the people of our communities is a public affair, like any other crime. It affects our neighbors, friends, and co-workers. It affects our children, who play and go to school with children from violent homes. It affects men and women. Domestic violence affects us all, even if we are not ourselves abused.

Domestic violence is not about anger or alcohol. It is a pattern of behavior based on the issues of power and control. When someone repeatedly abuses a family member, it is usually to keep control over that family member. These behaviors often occur in a cycle. There is a period of calm before the episode of violence. Then, there is another period of calm, when the abuser is apologetic and attentive, promising "it will never happen again." This cycle often goes on for years, and can escalate into more and more severe violence.

Many people think that domestic violence happens because one family member cannot control his or her anger. Anger is often an emotion present during episodes of violence, but being angry at someone is not an excuse for hurting them. Many people believe that alcohol abuse is what causes domestic violence ? that the abuser is only violent because he or she is intoxicated. While alcohol does contribute to episodes of violence, the actually root of the problem is the need for power and control. Alcohol and anger are not excuses for domestic violence.

Because domestic violence is a pattern of behavior, it is often learned at home. Children who witness violence at home often employ those same patterns of behavior at school and with siblings. Children who are abused or witness abuse to a family member are more likely to become abusers as adults. Thus, domestic violence is often passed down from generation to generation, like a dark secret family tradition.

Many services are available to victims of domestic violence and their families. Legal assistance, medical assistance, public benefits, individual counseling, family counseling, and a variety of other services are offered. Victims do not have to be in a shelter to receive this help, nor do they have to be married to the abuser. Information on the services available to victims of domestic violence is available from your nearest Alaska Legal Services Corporation office.