Freeing Yourself From Domestic Violence
by: Legal Services Alabama
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No one has the right to hit you. It is a crime. Anyone who suggests that it is your fault is wrong. Anyone who does not treat the problem seriously is also wrong.
Domestic violence is abuse used to gain or keep control over another person. It can be physical, mental, sexual or emotional. It includes assault, stalking, criminal damage to property, criminal trespass or unlawful restraint. Domestic violence law covers acts between past or present spouses or between the parents of a child. It also covers parents and children. Finally, it covers other people who live or used to live together.
Has any of this happened to you?
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Are you afraid of your partner?
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Are you afraid to disagree with your partner?
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Does your partner humiliate you or call you names?
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Has your partner physically hurt you?
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Does your partner throw things at you?
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Does your partner try to make you avoid your family and friends?
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Does your partner control the money?
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Does your partner blame you for everything that goes wrong?
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Does your partner shove, slap or kick you?
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Has your partner threatened to take your children from you?
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Has your partner threatened you?
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Has your partner threatened suicide if you leave?
You may be a domestic violence victim.
Domestic violence does not go away on its own. It gets worse with time. It gets more frequent with time. It harms your children, even if they do not see it happen.
Protect Yourself
Make a safety plan to protect yourself and your children. Plan what you should do before violence occurs. Plan how to get out of your home safely. Find out where you can go if you need shelter. This could be with family or friends or at a battered women's shelter. Get some money and clothes together and give them to a trusted friend to keep for you. Get copies of birth certificates, tax returns and anything showing how much your partner earns. Place them in a safe place or with someone you trust. Save money either in a bank account in your name or with a friend you trust. Teach your children to call 911. Ask your neighbors to call the police if they hear a violent argument.
If an argument is unavoidable, try to be in a room with an exit and away from anywhere guns, knives or other weapons may be found.
When you are abused, call 911 as soon as possible. When the police get there, tell them what happened. Tell just what your partner did to you. Show them any injuries you have and any property damage caused by the domestic violence. Tell the police officer if your children were in the home at the time of the violence. If you have a protective order, show it to them. Make sure the officer makes a report and ask how you can get a copy. At the least, the officer should give you a case number to call to get a copy of the report. Ask for and write down the names of the officers.
The police may arrest your abuser. If you are afraid that your abuser will come back if not arrested, tell the officers this. If the police do not arrest your abuser, you can consider taking out a warrant yourself. Even if your abuser is taken into custody, he could be released in a few hours. Use this time to get yourself and your children to a safe place.
Go to a domestic violence shelter. You can find out the nearest shelter by calling the Statewide Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-650-6522. Help is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you are out of state, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). If you are deaf, call the TTY number, 1-800-787-3224.
If you decide to leave, keep in mind that the time you leave is the most dangerous time for a victim.
Medical Care
Seek medical treatment if you have injuries. Tell the doctor how you were injured. Ask for copies of your medical record. Take photographs of your injuries and bruises. Take pictures several times as bruises may not show for several days.
Financial Assistance
Money is often a big problem for women leaving violent homes. A court can order support, but this can be unreliable. Here are some things to check:
Child Support This can be ordered by the court. If the absent parent is working, the Court can issue an Income Withholding Order that takes the support directly from the absent parent?s wages. If a parent of a minor child has not provided any support for 30 days, your local district attorney can file for criminal contempt.
Family Assistance If you have children, you may be eligible for Family Assistance. Check with your local DHR office. As a victim of domestic abuse you may be excused from some requirements. Make sure you tell them you are a victim of domestic violence.
Emergency Housing Family violence shelters may be able to provide temporary shelter for you and your children. Call 1-800-650-6522 for the shelter nearest you.
Food Stamps You may be eligible for food stamps whether or not you have children. Check with the local DHR office.
Medical Assistance You and your children may be eligible for Medicaid. You need to check with the Alabama Medicaid Agency. If you earn too much for Medicaid then your children may be eligible for ALLKids.
Crime Victims Compensation Any person who is a victim of a crime may be eligible to receive compensation through the Crime Victims Compensation Commission. To determine if you are eligible, please contact your local domestic violence program or your Victims' Service Officer in your local District Attorney's Office.
Public Housing You may be eligible for public housing depending on your income. If you have been forced out of your home because of family violence you may qualify for emergency consideration. Tell the local housing authority about your situation when you apply.
Other Information Brochures and information on public benefits, child custody, getting child support, and landlord-tenant problems are available through your local Legal Services office.
Counseling
Domestic violence programs offer support groups or counseling to help you. Services are usually free or inexpensive.
You can also call a local family counseling service or mental health center. Both may charge fees that may be based on your income.
Legal Action
Please see the separate fact sheet about legal actions you can take to protect yourself.
Note: Your local Alabama domestic violence program has other services available that may benefit you in this time of need. Please contact your local program to determine what is available in your area (1-800-650-6522). These services might include counseling for adults, counseling for children, safety planning, and/or referral to other service agencies.
No one deserves to be abused.
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