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What time should I be in Court?

• You have to be in court no later than the time on your notice.
• It is usually a good idea to be there fifteen minutes early.
• This gives you a last chance to go over everything with your lawyer or worker to get ready.
• There will be other cases set that day at about the same time. Yours may not be called right away.
• Remember the whole time you are at the courthouse, someone from the judge's staff may be watching you and noticing how you behave. It is important that you be calm and dignified at all times.

How should I dress?

• Wear a conservative dress or nice pants, something dressy but comfortable.
• Never wear short skirts or low cut blouses to court.
• Do not wear a lot of makeup or jewelry.

Should I bring the children?

• No. You need to be able to concentrate on the hearing.
• The children would be a distraction for you. Find someone to keep them.
• Even in a custody hearing, children usually do not testify.
• Be sure to talk to your lawyer or worker beforehand if you think you want one or more of your children to come to court.

What about witnesses?

• Many victims do not have any witnesses. This is okay. Most men do not abuse their wives in front of witnesses. You can prove the abuse by your testimony.
• If you have any witness to physical abuse, bring her.
• If you think your husband will ask for custody, bring a witness or two who knows you and your children and can say that you are a good mother.
• In any case, it is a good idea to bring a friend or family member to court for support. Your lawyer might have more than one case that day and cannot be with you the whole time.
• If you do not have anyone to come to court with you, make arrangements for someone from the shelter to come.

Will I see my husband?

• Your husband probably will be in court. He has a right to come to court, if he wants to.
• He could be waiting for court in the same general area as you will be waiting.
• If you are uncomfortable with this, please let your lawyer know. You or your lawyer may be able to arrange for you to wait in another part of the courthouse.

Will I have to talk to my husband?

• No, you do not have to talk to your husband.
• If you have a lawyer, your lawyer will handle things for you in court.
• It is better that you do not talk to your husband, even if he asks to speak with you.
• Everyone is nervous and emotional. Talking with your husband will only make it worse.

Will I have to testify in court?

• If you do not have a lawyer, yes. If you do, maybe.
• Before the judge calls the case, your lawyer will talk to your husband, or his lawyer if he has one, to try and reach an agreement.
• If this looks possible, your lawyer will move back and forth between you and your husband. All the time, your lawyer will let you know what your husband is willing to agree to. This way, you can see if you can reach a compromise.
• Your lawyer will not pressure you into any agreement. It is up to you to decide whether to settle. If you do settle, your lawyer let the judge know this. You go into the courtroom, and your lawyer tells the judge what the agreement is. The only thing you'll need to say in court is that you understand and want to enter the agreement.
• If you cannot reach an agreement, you will need to testify.
• Everyone is nervous about this. It might help to practice with friends before the hearing. Tell them what the judge needs to hear about the problems in your marriage and what you want the judge to do.

What do I say if I do have to testify?

• If you have a lawyer, your lawyer will stand next to you in front of the judge.
• Your lawyer will ask you questions.
• You'll have time to go over the questions before going into court.
• Your lawyer will ask you how long you've been married, the names and ages of your children, a brief history of the abuse, and what you want.
• Look at the judge when you are speaking. Speak loudly. If you don't understand, just say so. Your lawyer will then ask the question differently.
• If your lawyer leaves anything important out, whisper it to your lawyer. Your lawyer will then add that.
• If your husband has a lawyer, his lawyer will probably ask you questions.
• If your husband does not have a lawyer, he can ask you questions himself.
• Listen carefully. Make sure you understand the questions. Take your time in answering. Keep your answers short. Answer "yes" or "no" if you can. Your lawyer will be able to ask you questions that give you a chance to explain, if necessary.
• If you realize later that you answered a question wrong, you can go back and correct your answer.
• NEVER argue with or get mad at your husband or your husband's lawyer, even if they argue with you or appear to get angry with you. Remain calm.
• Answer all questions truthfully and completely.
• After you testify you can call your witnesses. Next, your husband will testify and then your lawyer asks him questions.
• NEVER respond in any way to anything your husband says. That means do not talk, laugh, shake your head or make a face. He probably will say things that are not true. He will probably say things that upset you. Remain calm. You can testify again and clear up anything your husband says wrong.
• The judge will be watching you the whole time to see how you behave.

How is child support determined?

• The judge follows guidelines.
• These are based on your gross income, your husband's gross income, child support your husband actually pays under any previous court order, medical insurance premiums for your children and child care costs.
• If you know how much money your husband makes, you can do a rough calculation on this.
• Usually the final figuring is done at the court house at the hearing.

What about visitation?

• Please read about visitation.
• Expect that your husband will get visitation rights.
• Your lawyer will do everything possible to help keep you and the children safe.

What about my furniture and other personal property?

• Bring a list with you of things he has that you want.
• If your husband will not agree to get to you the things that you need, you can ask the judge to decide this part of the case.

When will I find out what the judge's ruling is?

• Most of the time the judge does not tell us in court what his decision is.
• Usually the judge will tell us that (s)he will get a ruling out in about 10 days.
• The judge will get a copy of the order to you. If you have a lawyer, the judge sends it to your lawyer. The lawyer then sends it to you.
• Your husband will also get a copy.

DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS ABOUT THE HEARING? ASK!!!!! It is important that you understand what you are doing, and that you feel comfortable about all of it! Your shelter worker and your lawyer can help make you comfortable.