Informal Separation
by: Legal Aid Services of Oregon
CONTENTS
My spouse and I have been separated for several years but we have never filed for divorce. Are we still married? Can I marry someone else?
My spouse and I have separated but we haven't filed for divorce. I have our children. Do I have more custody rights than my spouse?
How can I get a court order that gives me custody?
If my spouse and I are separated, can I get child support? How?
Do I have to let my spouse back into my home if we are separated but still legally married?
Am I responsible for my spouse's debts while we are still married?
My spouse and I have been separated for several years but we have never filed for divorce. Are we still married? Can I marry someone else?
Until you end your marriage through divorce (or annulment in very rare cases) you and your spouse are married. Neither of you can remarry until you end your marriage.
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My spouse and I have separated but we haven't filed for divorce. I have our children. Do I have more custody rights than my spouse?
No. Unless you have a custody order (a court order signed by a judge that says that you have custody) you and your spouse have equal rights to have the children. You and your spouse can agree on where the children should live. But, with a few exceptions, unless you have a court custody order, you won't be able to have the police get your children back if your spouse breaks the agreement.
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How can I get a court order that gives me custody?
If you are afraid of your spouse because of physical abuse or threats against you within the last six months, and your children have ties to this state or need emergency protection, you should be able to get custody for one year as part of a Family Abuse Prevention restraining order. Click here for information.
If you are filing for divorce and your children have ties to this state or need emergency protection, you can ask in your petition that permanent custody be awarded you in the divorce judgment. Once you have filed for divorce, you can ask for a temporary order that gives you custody until the divorce is final.
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If my spouse and I are separated, can I get child support? How?
Your spouse can agree to pay you child support, but you can't enforce this arrangement unless you have a court or agency order.
You can get a child support order without filing for a divorce. If you are getting welfare, the state's Department of Justice (DOJ) will try to get a support order against your spouse. If you are not getting welfare, you can contact the county District Attorney for free help in getting a child support order. In some counties, the Department of Justice (DOJ) handles non-welfare cases.
You can also ask for child support as a part of your divorce. A judge can require your spouse to pay child support payments in a temporary order and in the final divorce judgment.
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Do I have to let my spouse back into my home if we are separated but still legally married?
If you are separated and your spouse's name is not on the rental agreement or deed to the home, your spouse has no right to enter it. If you are living in the family home and feel you are in danger from your spouse or partner, you can ask for a restraining order that will forbid him or her from contacting you or coming into your home. Click here for more information.
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Am I responsible for my spouse's debts while we are still married?
You are not responsible for any debts signed for by your spouse before the marriage (unless you also signed for them). Nor are you responsible for any debts your spouse signed for alone during your marriage, with one exception: you and your spouse are each responsible for family expenses, such as debts for living expenses and medical care for each other and the children, even if only one spouse makes the purchase. If you separate, you each are responsible for your own new debts and expenses for the children after that time. For more information about your and your spouse's responsibility for bills after divorce, click here.
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