Divorce Mediation
by: Wyoming Legal Services - Lander Office
Instead of going to court, many couples use mediation for divorces. Here, couples decide on their own what happens after divorces. A mediator helps the couple. The mediator is not a judge and does not make any final decisions. The couple decides what happens.
Some courts require couples to use mediation before going to court. Check with your county courthouse to learn if you must use mediation.
Some facts about mediation
- Length of time: It depends on the situation. Some couples can finish in one day. Most need weeks or even months.
- Cost: It could cost a few hundred dollars or a few thousand dollars. It's a lot of money, but it's cheaper than going to court. If the judge orders mediation, there may be no charge.
- Mediators can meet with both spouses or one at a time. This depends on the situation. They meet one at a time if the spouses can't stand up to each other or aren't polite.
Why go to mediation instead of court?
Mediation is almost always cheaper and faster than trial. Because the couple makes the decisions, there is no doubt about what will happen. It also improves communication between the couple. This is important if there are children.
If mediation works, the divorce is more likely to get off to a smoother start.
Should you use mediation?
Mediation is not for everyone. Certain things need to be in place for mediation to work. Mediation works best if:
- Both spouses agree to divorce. If only one spouse wants to divorce, the other spouse may not want to mediate.
- Each spouse wants to stay on good terms. The couple may have children or own a business.
- The spouses know what they have for property. They also know how to divide it.
- The spouses trust each other. If your spouse has lied to you about important things, you may want to hire a lawyer. Your lawyer can find out if your spouse is hiding anything.
- You are able to stand up for yourself. If you disagree with your spouse, you need to say so in a polite manner. What you get from the divorce is up to you. No one will defend you.
Note: You need to know how to protect your legal rights. You can talk to a lawyer or do research. If you have any problems with the agreement, talk with a lawyer before signing it.
When shouldn't you use mediation?
- Your spouse abused you or your children.
- Your spouse abused drugs and/or alcohol.
- You think your spouse is a bad parent.
- You think your spouse is lying.
What happens at mediation?
There are 6 stages.
- Introduction and rules: The mediator introduces herself. She goes over the rules and goals.
- Opening statements: Each spouse says what they want to get from mediation. They may also give ideas about how to do this.
- Joint discussion: The spouses talk to each other about what was said during the opening statements.
- Private meetings: The mediator meets with each spouse separately. Here, the spouse talks about ideas with the mediator. The mediator passes the ideas between spouses. The mediator can go back and forth many times.
- Joint negotiation: With the mediator present, the spouses negotiate with each other.
- End of mediation: The spouses come up with an agreement or the mediation ends with no agreement. If they can't agree, the case may go to trial.
A judge has to look over a mediation agreement before the divorce becomes final. If the judge doesn't like something, she will send the couple back to mediation.
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